barbex: (Default)
https://arlathanxchange.tumblr.com/, https://archiveofourown.org/collections/arlathanxchange2022/profile

Dear Creator!

I'm trying to give some prompts but I'm honestly much more curious about what you come up with. I'm not married to any prompts is what I'm saying and if you find a way of writing for these pairings in any way without hitting a DNW, I will be happy.

I'll be happy with anything romantic or sexual, any content rating too.

General Likes: fluff, smut, feelings, consent and communications, pining, flirting, dialogue, character studies, glimpses into life, funny moments, soulmates

Smut likes: urgent sex, vanilla sex, loving sex in any shape or form, non-penetrative and penetrative sex, fingering, oral, cunnilingus, hand jobs, soft Dom/sub, consensual non-con, sex toys, discovering differences (alien/mystical/monster anatomy), kisses, little funny moments of awkwardness, porn without plot but with feelings, sex pollen, fuck or die

Prompts:
  • Fenris, always Fenris:
  • Fenris/Dorian Pavus, Fenris/Merrill, Zevran Arainai/Fenris
I'm obsessed with this elf. He is perceptive, intelligent, and fiercely independent, now that he has gained his freedom. But he also yearns for love, so much! I can see him experimenting with sex, testing his freedom but I think he can't be unemotional with that. As much as he tries to hide under his broodiness, he's got such a passionate heart. There's a lot of potential friction with these pairings and it may at times be painful but I don't see him as intentionally cruel. Unintentionally, maybe, but he would realise and apologise for that.

  • Solas, the mysterious one:
  • Dorian Pavus/Solas, Fenris/Solas, Justice/Solas
I'll be honest, I don't get Solas. That's why I would love a fic where I get a glimpse into his mind. He's got so many layers and I would like to see... maybe not exactly a reason why he is like he is, but some honest introspection, maybe? Really, it's up to you, this elf is a mystery to me.

  • Zevran my love:
  • Zevran Arainai/Dorian Pavus, Zevran Arainai/Fenris, Zevran Arainai/Merrill
It is a crime that Zevran doesn't show up in DA:I and I would love to see that rectified. But I would also love a fic set in DA2 (DA2 is my favourite game). The point is, I see Zevran as someone who sees and knows a lot more than people like to think. He can be vicious, ruthless, but omg how he loves. And he always protects the ones he loves from the shadows.

  • Lavellans I need to know better:
  • Female Lavellan/Merrill, Male Lavellan/Merrill, Merrill/Nonbinary Lavellan
Yes, Merrill in DA:I, I want to see that. Poor Lavellan, thrown into this andrastian organisation, where their own culture and religion is never recognised. And finally, there is Merrill, who they can geek out with over dalish culture and religion, who understands! And Merrill isn't that naive girl anymore, Merrill has lived in Kirkwall for ten years! The worst city of all of Thedas. Merrill probably knows more about shems than Lavellan. I want to see them be smart and cunning and surprise everyone together.


Alright, I hope this was helpful. Just suggestions though, you can come up with whatever you like.


Once more my DNWs:
Non-con, abusive relationships (mentions of past abuse is fine), explicit underage sex, minor/adult relationships, daddy/mommy kink and other ageplay, hard BDSM (some powerplay and spanking is fine but not TPE, no severe punishments), incest, bestiality (meaning cats/dogs/horses/etc-- tentacles/monsters are fine), animal cruelty, infidelity (open relationships, polyamory or separated/estranged couples are fine), mpreg, rimming, fisting, sex involving toilet stuff, bloodplay, vore, emetophilia, foot fetish, excessive character bashing (a character disliking another is fine), homophobia/biphobia/aphobia/transphobia/etc., slut shaming, heavy angst, depressive endings, pregnancy, 1st or 2nd person POV, Modern Girl in X-Setting, school AUs, crossovers unless Star Trek or prompted, mage bashing
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Da Smutquisition cover

Reveal time for @dasmutquisition​!

Now that the collection has deanoned, I can show what I wrote this last month. These are all rated E, so proceed with knowledge.


artwork of two women in front of a mirror

watch me watch you, Neve Gallus x Rana Savas

My assignment and I’m proud to say that I had to bring the tag for this pairing into existence! Set in Minrathous, Knight-Templar Rana and private investigator Neve end up locked in a closet, and what are you supposed to do then?
Fenris, Anders with a veil

A Witch's Tear, Fenris x Anders

Fenris finds Anders at last and while Anders thinks that Fenris wants to kill him, Fenris finally wants to admit to his feelings for Anders.


Anders, Fenris, Hawke

Temptation and Will,
Anders x Fenris x Hawke

A bit of a dark fic with Fenris given to Hawke and Anders as a slave, fuck or die scenario and all that, but of course, Anders and Hawke are good to Fenris.
Cullen, Sebastian>

Give in to the Sea, Cullen x Sebastian

Historical fiction AU. The lord and his bodyguard and careful feelings. And bossy Sebastian.

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I made so many images for my fenders fic Sunset, Sundown, Sunrise, I want to collect them all here.
This fic has been a constant obsession for several weeks now, taking up all my time, even though I wanted to finally write some original fiction. But the muse gets what the muse wants.

Fenris x Anders

Fenris x Anders

Fenris x Anders

Fenris x Anders

Three riders in the sun

Fenris x Anders

Fenris x Anders

Fenris x Anders

Fenris x Anders
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A little late but another cross post from tumblr.

image

Can you believe I forgot about the monthly promo posts? The last one I did was apparently for November. And since it’s Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day  πŸ’•, I decided to make a little post about the fics I wrote recently.

So when I look back at the list of published works on AO3 since last year, there’s about 17 fics on there. Seven-teen! Don’t worry, I’m not gonna list them all here, that’s way too many. Let me just show off some highlights, fics I’m especially proud of.


I wrote a couple of original fics for exchanges. I really like the format for these, the prompt is in the pairings and from that you can just go wild.

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For the prompt “Detective/Phantom Thief with a crush on her“ I wrote Vanish in Steam. A bit of steampunk, a bit of magical artifact, and a tight closet/wardrobe to hide in.

image

For the prompt “Chaste Paladin/Silver-tongued Scoundrel“ I wrote A Sin to Seek. Let’s just say, the paladin doesn’t stay chaste for long 😜.

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I loved writing for the prompt “Jaded Alien Soldier Stationed To Protect Farming World/Cheerful Human Space Sheep Herder“. I wrote a story from an alien’s point of view, who takes interest in this strange and cheerful human. And there are cat-sheep.

image

The prompt was “Male Space Freighter Pilot/His Ship's Male AI That Accidentally Became Sentient“ and I made it smutty 😜. I love stories where characters have to explore their differences and it doesn’t get much more different than with an AI that doesn’t even have a body.

-

For fanfic, we’re still firmly in Dragon Age lands. I updated a few older fics too, I swear, nothing is ever forgotten, just occasionally postponed.

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Inquisitor Carver Hawke is still going strong, now entering part two of the tale, with a focus on Merrill asking Solas so many smart questions. Lost Templar in Skyhold will continue soon.

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One can not read so many fenders fics and not write one themselves. Sunset, Sundown, Sunrise is a bounty hunter AU, where Fenris is a famous bounty hunter and catches Anders. But of course, things are never easy and when Anders gets taken by templars, Fenris has to face his feelings.

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Speaking of AUs, the Alistair x Zevran vampire AU is nearly finished. Destiny's Bite. This fic can be summarized as “pining idiots”.

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Fresh from the paragon exchange, another AU. A Trail of Particles is a science fiction AU with Lace Harding pining after Captain Cadash on board of the spaceship Inquisition.

I love AUs πŸ˜€πŸ˜€.

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Hello dear creator!

I'll be happy with anything romantic or sexual, any content rating too. I can deal with some angst and don't be afraid to lay on the melodrama but I don't want unhappy endings. Give me happy and hopeful endings. For this polyshipping exchange, with the exception of demons and tentacles (cause they can't really "love", can they?), I want everyone in the polycule to love each other.

I like canon fics, but feel free to twist canon in any way you want. I don't like mundane fics, so if you go modern or scifi, keep the magic in. I'm not a fan of crossovers, with the exception of Star Trek, Star Trek always works.


I like: fluff, smut, feelings, consent and communications, pining, flirting, dialogue, character studies, glimpses into life, funny moments, soulmates

Smut likes: urgent sex, vanilla sex, loving sex in any shape or form, non-penetrative sex, fingering, oral, cunnilingus, hand jobs, soft Dom/sub, consensual non-con, sex toys, discovering differences (alien/mystical/monster anatomy), kisses, little funny moments of awkwardness, porn without plot but with feelings, sex pollen, fuck or die

I'm really bad with giving prompts, please just write what you want. Here are just some thoughts.

The Anders pile

  • Anders/Male Hawke/Dorian Pavus
  • Anders/Fenris/Dorian Pavus
  • Anders/Fenris/Tentacles
I love Anders the revolutionary, who did what he had to do and doesn't apologize for it, even though he sometimes feels guilty for the mage/templar war. I find the Anders/Fenris/Dorian polycule especially intriguing, here you have three men who had to each question their perceptions and prejudices and find ways to respect each other.

The ladies

  • Leliana/Josephine Montilyet/Cassandra Pentaghast
  • Female Hawke/Isabela/Merrill
  • Dagna/Lace Harding/Sera
Can you imagine the powerhouse of Leliana/Josephine/Cassandra? The intelligence, the efficiency!
Hawke/Isabela/Merrill, cute with hidden depth, maybe? Especially Merrill, she's a grown woman and not some naive girl.

The Dorian pile

  • Dorian Pavus/Male Lavellan/Desire Demon(s)
  • Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford/Male Trevelyan
  • Dorian Pavus/Male Hawke/Tentacles
I love it when Dorian discovers that he can love openly and freely, when he learns to let go of the shame his homeland has taught him. I love how confident Dorian is with magic, how natural it is for him.


Just to have everything in one place, here are my DNW again:

Do Not Wants:
Non-con, abusive relationships (mentions of past abuse is fine), explicit underage sex, minor/adult relationships, daddy/mommy kink and other ageplay, hard BDSM (some powerplay and spanking is fine but not TPE, no severe punishments), incest, bestiality (meaning cats/dogs/horses/etc-- tentacles/monsters are fine), animal cruelty, infidelity (open relationships, polyamory or separated/estranged couples are fine), A/B/O, mpreg, rimming, fisting, sex involving toilet stuff, bloodplay, vore, foot fetish, excessive character bashing (a character disliking another is fine), homophobia/biphobia/aphobia/transphobia/etc., slut shaming, heavy angst, depressive endings, pregnancy, 1st or 2nd person POV, Modern Girl in X-Setting, school AUs, crossovers unless Star Trek or prompted, mage bashing

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Look who’s back!

[AO3]
 

I have not forgotten our friend Zevran, the vampire and his freshly bitten pining friend Alistair.

Coming close to the end but I had to add yet another chapter to the prediction.

---

Chapters: 11/12

Fandom: Dragon Age
Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Alistair/Zevran Arainai

Characters: Alistair (Dragon Age), Zevran Arainai, Female Warden (Dragon
Age), Wynne (Dragon Age), Morrigan (Dragon Age), Warden Tabris

Additional Tags: Vampire AU, Alternate Universe - Vampire, playing loose
with lore, Original Vampire Lore, Zevistair, no beta and the blight
won't get us, Blood, Blood Drinking

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A tumblr ask grabbed me by the hair and forced me to write a vaguely Western AU fenders fic. And now it's on AO3. 

Sunset, Sundown, Sunrise

After being declared leader of the mage rebellion, Anders is on the run. Fenris, famous bounty hunter, catches him. But as they talk, Fenris' view of the mage changes.

A vaguely Western inspired AU with magic and horses, where Fenris didn't stay in Kirkwall after he killed Danarius, so that Anders and Fenris don't know each other well. That changes, of course.

Two chapters so far. 

Rating: Mature
Relationships: Anders/Fenris (Dragon Age)
Additional Tags: Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Suicidal Thoughts, Prostitution, Fenders

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Chapter 7 of the vampire AU is live!

After taking a bit of a break, we’re back with the vampire story and hopefully weekly updates.

Alistair is still pining after Zevran the vampire, even though he knows he shouldn’t. But how can he be friends with Zevran, when he wants so much more?

Summary: It turns out, the Crow that Warden Tabris let join is not just an assassin. Zevran is a vampire. Which is slightly disturbing in of itself but especially for Alistair because said vampire is so very attractive.

Come for the zevistair, stay for the tropes and the pining.

Chapters: 7/9
Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alistair/Zevran Arainai
Characters: Alistair (Dragon Age), Zevran Arainai, Female Warden (Dragon Age), Wynne (Dragon Age), Morrigan (Dragon Age), Warden Tabris
Additional Tags: Vampire AU, Alternate Universe - Vampire, playing loose with lore, Original Vampire Lore, Zevistair, no beta and the blight won't get us

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cover with a fairy path

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27725788/chapters/68634051

Alistair gets lost in the woods and Zevran has to rescue him. Poor Alistair is pining so much.

Zevran x Alistair Vampire AU


I can ramble here, right? 

Man, it's hard to keep up enthusiasm. Nobody reads this fic.
That's not true, my friend T reads this fic and I'm just publishing for them. But I'm honestly worried about me, about my future in writing and about everybody else who stares at single digit number in reblogs/kudos/comments and just -- sighs. We just sigh.
And then the doubts creep in.
Is this a healthy way of doing this? Is this how we're supposed to be? Always acting happy and upbeat? Don't complain, don't whine, you'll scare readers off. You have to be inviting, you can't come across as demanding or nobody will read you anymore. 
What about me? What about the writer behind the curtain?
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Zevran bites

archiveofourown.org/works/27725788/chapters/68264362

Alistair learns what Zevran being a vampire really means. 

We’re getting a bit more serious in this chapter.

This is an unusual fic for me, what with a regular publish schedule, a new pairing and especially vampires. 

I really like this image I made.

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cover image

archiveofourown.org/works/27433078

I wrote a treat for the Paragon Exchange on tumblr! A little fic about F!Cadash entering the Fade in her dreams and meeting a spirit there. Since I think that spirits have no gender, it was an experiment on my part in writing a non-gendered character.

Dwarves don't dream, dwarves don't enter the Fade when they sleep.
But the mark on Mina's hand seems to change the rules and Mina meets a spirit in the Fade. A very curious spirit. They want to learn about feelings and touching all these solid things.

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age (Video Games)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Female Cadash/Spirit, Female Cadash/Non-Binary Spirit, Female Cadash/Original Non-Binary Character
Characters: Female Cadash (Dragon Age), Spirit (Dragon Age), Demon (Dragon Age), Original Non-Binary Character, Cole (Dragon Age)
Additional Tags: The Fade, In the Fade, Dwarf in the Fade, Spirits, Spirits have no gender and I will die on this hill
 

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image

archiveofourown.org/works/27725788/chapters/67860916

The Zevran x Alistair Vampire AU that nobody asked for.

You know what I spend my October and November on? Writing over 14k words of vampire zevistair fic. Because this is obviously something that needs to be in this world. Come for the zevistair and stay for the tropiest romance possible.

This fic is 90% done and will have a regular update schedule. 😱 (This has never happend before!)

Summary:

It turns out, the Crow that Warden Tabris let join is not just an assassin. Zevran is a vampire. Which is slightly disturbing in of itself but especially for Alistair because said vampire is so very attractive.

Chapters: 1/8
Fandom: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alistair/Zevran Arainai
Characters: Alistair (Dragon Age), Zevran Arainai, Female Warden (Dragon Age), Wynne (Dragon Age), Morrigan (Dragon Age)
Additional Tags: Vampire AU, Alternate Universe - Vampire, playing loose with lore, Original Vampire Lore
 


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Malleabile: archiveofourown.org/works/27068641/chapters/66091372
Fenris x Anders

I can finally tell what I’ve been writing over the last two months. I’ve been writing so much, you guys! 

I participated in the Fic In A Box Exchange. The minimum wordcount for that is 10k, so I started writing one fic, gave up on it at 8k, started another, fearing I’ll never meet the required wordcount and... ended up with 16k. 

It’s a fenders fic! How they slowly get closer to each other, hot smut in many ways and then a magical device. I love how it turned out!

Summary:

That Fenris shows up in Anders' clinic is strange enough but then he kisses him and then things start to get really weird and wonderful.
But Justice doesn't approve of this distraction and keeps interrupting them. Anders may have a solution, involving a magical device that will silence Justice but also take Anders' free will away. Which would make Fenris his master. Something he isn't comfortable with. Or is he?

Tags and rating:

Chapters: 2/2
Fandom: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Rating: E
Relationships: Anders/Fenris (Dragon Age)
Additional Tags: Consensual Non-Consent, Mind Control, Mind control device, Dom/sub, Praise Kink, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Multiple Orgasms, Light Dom/sub, Loss of Control, Consensual Sex, Hypnotism, Mention of Past Abuse, mention of sexual slavery, Deviates From Canon, generous use of made up lore, Fenders

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Holy Shit September. Look at this:
spreadsheet

25.625 words!!

I don’t even know how I did that. (well I do, I wrote all the freaking time)
So what was it? The Black Emporium Exchange for one was it. I finished writing the main BE fics in August but I wrote a few treats the beginning of September. And then I signed up for another event, [Fic-in-a-box], that requires you to write 10k of words for your assignee, which you can split over more than one fic.
Which of course meant that I was worried that I would never be able to fill those 10k words, as if I don’t even know myself, which had me start two fics and one is already over 10k words by now and the other over 5k and both are not done yet because I’m an idiot. The deadline is October 18. πŸ™ˆ

Anyway.
For the Black Emporium Exchange @black-emporium-exchange​ I wrote five fics, which I covered in [this post], with the two main fics being [Arrow's Path] and [Sure Told] and I’m adding the images again because I’m proud of them.
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And then I got inspired by something my friend T said and wrote a story for them: [Hawke's House], about Hawke and his big dick energy and why nobody should wear pants/trousers in his house, especially not Sebastian.
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Next was a birthday gift for my lovely friend hollyand-writes​​​, which started as a BE treat but, as it happens with me, grew out of proportions to be finished on time. [Skewering a Hawke], Hawke gets fucked by the Arishok, and loads of fun is had by all.
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And another birthday gift was for the lovely lauraemoriarty​​​, a little tale of Lace Harding and her OC Cathal Trevelyan, who fails spectacularly at a romantic date: [Traipsing Troubles ]
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Did I mention the 10k and 5k fics in the works? I think I did.

Forgive me if I can’t mention every fic I read, please check out the [Black Emporium Collection] for some of the best fics I have ever seen.
I read so many good fics and still have so many tabs open to read more... let me give you a quick list, these come all highly recommended: 

So this was just a small glimpse of the amazing fics that came out of and around the Black Emporium Exchange, I still have the longer fics open to read from that collection but, you know, deadline!!! They have to wait.
So, what have you all read and written?
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For @hollyand-writes​‘s birthday, I come bearing pörn. Arishok/Hawke prostitution AU.

Happy Birthday baby! I had so much fun writing this and making that image!

[on AO3]


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The reveal has happened so now I can finally talk about the things I did in August.

My recipient was Theneras / @theneras-la-lath​​​ and I wrote two things for them.

[Arrow's Path

image

F!Lavellan has her heart broken by Solas and remembers another elf she used to love. But Felassan disappeared a long time ago and how likely is it to find your love again? Quite likely, actually.

*

[Sure Told]

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F!Cadash pines after Varric, which is so not her thing to do. Unfortunately she gets a bit too drunk and tells him.

I also wrote three treats for this exchange. 

[A Daisy in Skyhold] for seigephoenix​​​

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Varric introduces a new visitor in Skyhold to M!Lavellan and he falls head over heals for Merrill.

*

[Tailoring Touches] for Manka​​​

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F!Cadash looks ridiculous in the dress for Halamshiral and she knows it. Hopefully Vivienne can help.

*

[Bloodshot] for GhostGarrison​​​

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Cullen finds Samson working at the brothel in Kirkwall. And Cullen is angry.

***

This whole event was so much fun!


I want to thank the organisers at @black-emporium-exchange​​ for making this great event possible and for all the amazing spreadsheets they provided.

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 https://archiveofourown.org/collections/BlackEmporium2020

Guys, the rare pair exchange for Dragon Age this year was so good! There's some amazing fics in there, all anon for another week I think. I'm so exited to find out who wrote my gifts and to reveal myself.
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This fic is my pride and joy. Lost Templar in Skyhold makes me so happy, you don't even know.

It started with the idea of "What if Carver Hawke, templar and forever the little brother in his sister's shadow, turns out to be the Inquisitor?" and from there it just kept growing.

I tried my best to recreate Carver in the DA:I character creator, using the Trevelyan Warrior base, and I'm playing the game along as I write the fic.
Carver Hawke

Isn't he cute? Read his story on AO3

The fic is at 100k words already and we are currently at the battle of Haven. Yes, I know, barely scratched the beginning of the game and already so many chapters. I swear, I'm trying to be short!

I made quite a lot of images for this fic that I really like, so here are a few:

Carver Hawke and Cassandra

Merrill looks at rift

Oh yes, Merrill is in here too. She won't leave her boyfriend alone in this mess.





Carver, Merrill, Cassandra, Alexius
Varric, Merrill, Cassandra, in the dark future
Yes, that's Merrill there in the background. That was a hard chapter.

King Alistair and Carver

Carver Hawke and Cole in the Fade
Carver is more often in the Fade as any templar has ever been.

Carver closing the Breach

Come along with Carver, the rebel templar and his bloodmage girlfriend Merrill, as they drag Thedas kicking and screaming into progressive changes.
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 Carver closing the BreachDid you miss our baby bird? I sure did.
 
Another chapter for Inquisitor Carver Hawke. This is “In Your Heart Shall Burn”, so at some point soon, we’ll actually get our Lost Templar to Skyhold. But not quite just yet.
 
Dorian wraps a shawl around his neck and dramatically pulls his staff from his back and twirls it with sparks flying from the tip. The other mages are confused at first but then follow Dorian’s example and take their staffs. Some even practice a few light spells as they see Dorian do, looking from one to the other as if they never had this much fun in their lives. 
 
It’s obvious that the mages are not used to displaying their magic openly like that, or preparing for a fight, especially not with templars right next to them. Carver looks over their mage fighters and for once he would have loved to have his sister Marian here. She would show these timid mages how to look proud and capable. 
 
Read more on AO3!
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April, the month of Camp NaNoWriMo, where you can set your own (realistic) wordcount goal for the month. I set that goal to 11k words and added those up over all the things and

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Booyah!

All in all, I wrote 12,697 words this month.

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As you can see, there is a lot of Inquisitor Carver and that was indeed the reason for three 3! chapters of Lost Templar in April: 

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Chapters 12, 13 and 14. Carver still struggles with his role as inquisitor but for lack of better options, he takes the power and makes decisions until someone yells at him to stop. So far, no one has.

At last, our friend subby!Cullen also got a new chapter. All the sex and trust culminated in some real plot and emotions which was apparently more exciting for me than for others

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I also really like this graphic I made for this chapter. Chapter 14: Murder Elf.


Reading in April:

  1. A Love Long Lost by cullenlovesmen (handersmyheart)   @cullenlovesmen, Cullen x Sebastian. Old love stifled by secrets and misunderstandings. It’s wonderful and heartbreaking!
  2. Freedom's Voice by DovaBunny @dovabunny, a fenders fic. I love me some well written fenders and this one is really good. With flashbacks to Fenris’ past, he finds his voice and the strength to stand up for what he wants. And he wants Anders.
  3. A Tale of Two Turians by ThreeWhiskeyLunch @threewhiskeylunch. My love for turians is no secret and this is a rare mshakarian fic. It’s so touching and emotional, I just love it! 
  4. Rise of the Phoenix by bluephoenixrising @bluephoenixrising. An inquisitor story with a very different background. A Herald who grew up in Tevinter and has a history with Cullen. Fascinating ideas in here.
  5. Helter Skelter by Charlatron @charlatron. So much more than just a bunch of Cullen smut. An Inquisitor who wants simple, meaningless sex and it could all be so easy, if feelings didn’t get involved. Hach, the tropes are hungry!
  6. Competition by lucyrne (theungenue) @lucyrne. Poor Varric pining after Bethany Hawke, I feel for him.
  7. and also A Nighttime Fantasy by lucyrne (theungenue) @lucyrne. How I love me some good masturbation fic and Varric is taking things into his own hands here, if you know what I mean, wink wink. 

Well, friends and squiggles, what did you all read and write? 

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